if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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