I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
