in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize