he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
