maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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