: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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