Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
