I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
