I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
