But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
