My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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