you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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