at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
