She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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