the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
