This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
