I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
