Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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