Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
