Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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