have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
