I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
