so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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