There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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