I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
