His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
