she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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