My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize