i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize