i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
