Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
