He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
