Jerry, you need to find god
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
