we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
