I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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