Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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