I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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