bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
