omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
