tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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