what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
