i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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