you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
