He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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