What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
