Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize