i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
