we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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