Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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