Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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