Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
