he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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