Pappa wants mamma naked
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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