Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
