do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
honey bunches of taint.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
