You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
