She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
