Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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