its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
