eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I need a beard to bite.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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