I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
