if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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