This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
