The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
