I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
